More tranny stories later!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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