Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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