I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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