Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
