I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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