We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i think i just lost a toe
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
