ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
