so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
