Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
