Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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