shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
