We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
