Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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