i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize