Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
When did angry sex become our thing?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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