i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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