your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
