first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Farmville is her only friend.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize