if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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