My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
