If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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