so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
