She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
