sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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