we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
