Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
