White coat. Heels.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
