just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
