I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
