there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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