I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
