she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
