idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
