I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize