i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
