Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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