I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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