Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
