Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Rumble strips road head = magical
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
