I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
