We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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