after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
