Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
so much tequila, so little girl.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
