wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The air was thick with penises
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize