Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
