dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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