she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
