How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
