have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
