I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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