if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize