I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
