im drinking this country out of the recession.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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