remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
