dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
