her vagine was all disorganized.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
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