I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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