so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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