I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
