Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
