Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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