That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
