So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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