Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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