So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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