I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
