You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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